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BOOK I: The Obligatory Origin Story
- In which Arthur is conceived
- In which Arthur is born and his father dies
- In which Arthur pulls a sword out of something
- In which Arthur has some trouble making friends
- In which Arthur fights an incredibly bloody war
- In which Merlin is a jerk, and Arthur retrenches
- In which Arthur has a terrible day
- In which Arthur reenacts the Massacre of the Innocents
BOOK II: Sir Balin, Lady Killer
- In which we meet the Idiot Knight
- In which Sir Balin gets back in Arthur’s good books
- In which Sir Balin strikes the DOLOROUS STROKE
- In which Sir Balin gets discouraged
- In which Sir Balin dies
BOOK III: The Best Table Ever
- In which we meet the Round Table (also Guenever)
- In which Arthur solves the Mystery of the Good-looking Peasant
- In which Gawaine completes his first quest with only a little whining
- In which Tor makes new friends
- In which Pellinore is a dick
Supplementary material for volume one
BOOK IV: Sibling and Cousin Rivalry
- In which we upgrade from Merlin to Nimue
- In which Arthur wins a war with no help from Pellinore
- In which Arthur goes on his worst adventure
- In which Arthur is a surprisingly good sport
- In which Morgan le Fay pulls out all the stops
- In which Sir Uwaine departs Camelot
- In which Sir Gawaine is just terrible
- In which Sir Pellas gets lucky
- In which Uwaine and Marhaus show up Gawaine
BOOK V: Romans Need Not Apply
- In which Arthur is a tax protester
- In which Arthur and Kay kill a giant
- In which Caesar loses badly
- In which Sir Gawaine wanders off
BOOK VI: Sir Launcelot’s Excellent Adventures
- In which Sir Launcelot takes the first of many naps
- In which Sir Launcelot has a gay panic moment
- In which Sir Launcelot finally faces Sir Turquine
- In which Sir Launcelot does the thing for Yuffie
- In which Sir Launcelot beats two giants alone, take that Arthur and Kay
- In which Sir Launcelot has a little fun at Sir Kay’s expense
- In which the reader gets a sense of deja vu
- In which Sir Launcelot goes on the strangest adventure
- In which Sir Launcelot is outwitted
BOOK VII: Prettyboy and the Fabulous L Sisters
- In which Kay names Prettyboy
- In which Gareth meets Linet
- In which Linet and Gareth totally aren’t falling in love as they fight and travel together, why would you get that idea?
- In which Gareth meets Lionesse, the not-horrible one
- In which there is a weird sex farce sequence
- In which nothing happens, very slowly
- In which there are multiple jousting tournaments for no good reason
Supplementary material for volume two
BOOK VIII: Tramtrist? Seriously?
- In which Tristram is born and slays his first damosel
- In which Young Tristram survives two murder attempts
- In which Sir Tristram has his first strange adventure
- In which Sir Tristram wins his first tournament and is a jerk like three different ways
- In which Sir Tristram commences his lifelong love affair with Isoud by sleeping with a totally different married lady
- In which Sir Tristram fights a duel in Camelot en route to Ireland
- In which Sir Tristram marries Isoud to King Mark, also he pokes her with his sword a few times for good measure
- In which Tristram and Isoud have an affair, shocking right?
- In which Tristram gets into an awfully contrived situation
- In which Tristram marries Isoud the White
- In which Tristram fights a murderer and manages to lose the moral high ground
- In which Sir Lamorak goes on a little side quest
BOOK IX: Tristram’s story just keeps going on like that, huh
- In which Tristram is a jerk to Lamorak not for the last time
- In which Sir Lamorak encounters Sir Meliagrance, because that’ll be a big crowd-pleaser
- In which Tristram has his most skippable adventure
- In which Tristram has an adventure with Nimue in it
- In which Tristram goes mad, as was the style at the time
- In which Sir Tristram teams up with poor, poor Sir Dinadan
- In which Sir Tristram visits the Castle of the Maidens (less sexy than it sounds)
- In which Tristram does some jail time
- In which Sir Kay humiliates King Mark
- In which Sir Tristram teams up with Morgan le Fay
BOOK X: Surely this is the home stretch for Tristram
- In which Sir Tristram joins the Round Table
- In which King Mark has some evil plans
- In which Sir Lamorak ruins Sir Dinadan and Sir Palomides’s strange adventure
- In which there are a bunch of mostly unconnected scenes
- In which Elias besieges Tintagil
- In which we go on a long tangent about Sir Alisander
- In which Mark finally gets his comeuppance
- In which we hear about Sir Lamorak’s murder secondhand
- In which we walk the road to LONAZEP
- In which Sir Palomides gets a strange adventure of his very own
- LONAZEP
- In which Sir Palomides feels sorry for himself
BOOK XII FLASHFORWARD: the Pasted-in Finale
Supplementary material for volume three
BOOK XI: Elaine & Launcelot & Bors & Brisen
- In which Launcelot gives extremely dubious consent
- In which Galahad is born
- In which Sir Bors experiences surrealism
- In which Launcelot and Elaine are reunited
- In which everyone worries about Sir Launcelot
- In which Sir Percivale and Sir Aglovale adventure together
- In which Sir Percivale and Sir Ector see the Grail
BOOK XII: Launcelot’s Bogus Journey
- In which we learn what Launcelot’s been up to
- In which Sir Launcelot recovers his senses
- In which Sir Launcelot faces the music
- In which Sir Percivale and Sir Ector “rescue” Sir Launcelot
- In which we have a brief interruption about Sir Bors’s one and only sin
- In which Sir Launcelot returns to Camelot
BOOK XIII: Sir Galahad is just the best
- In which Launcelot and Galahad reunite
- In which something monumental and portentous happens
- In which Arthur pulls rank on Gawaine
- In which Merlin makes a surprise reappearance
- In which Nimue shows up too, for good measure
- In which Malory drops a real bomb on us
- In which Arthur tries to push back against the tide of history
- In which Galahad gets a magic shield
- In which Galahad and Melias try adventuring together
- In which Galahad saves the Castle of the Maidens
- In which Sir Gawaine meets Nacien
- In which Sir Launcelot fails to achieve the Grail
- In which Launcelot repents
BOOK XIV: Twist Ending
- In which the Queen of the Waste Land lays some science on Percivale
- In which things get weird and mystic
- In which Percivale dreams
- In which Percivale meets a strangely familiar woman
- In which Percivale does something I didn’t see coming
BOOK XV: Being the Better Man
- In which Launcelot meets a demon, but don’t worry, it’s cool
- In which Launcelot gets into some trouble
- In which Launcelot loses a tournament and an anchoress chews him out about it
BOOK XVI: Sir Bors is Pretty Okay
- In which we check in on Sir Gawaine
- In which Sir Gawaine kills Sir Uwaine
- In which Gawaine meets Nacien again
- In which Sir Bors sets out
- In which Bors meets Catherine
- In which Bors beats the Devil
- In which Sir Bors gets some dubious advice
- In which Sir Bors and Sir Lionel have a falling out
BOOK XVII: Grail Grail Grail Grail Grail
- In which Sir Galahad sets about fulfilling prophecy
- In which the Grail knights (and nun) explore a magic ship
- In which the Grail knights kill a bunch of dudes
- In which the Grail knights (and nun) fulfill more prophecies
- In which Sir Launcelot and Galahad adventure together
- In which Launcelot almost achieves the Grail
- In which Bors, Percivale, and especially Galahad achieve the Grail
- In which we consider the question of what you do after you’ve won the Holy Grail
Supplementary material for volume four
BOOK IX: The Missing Piece
- In which Sir Kay makes a bad joke
- In which Breunor meets Marcie
- In which Breunor fights an entire castle
- In which we take a quick Sir Launcelot break
- In which Sir Launcelot crosses a bridge
BOOK XVIII: Exploding Fruit
- In which Launcelot and Guenever squabble
- In which fruit explodes
- In which Arthur lets things get out of hand
- In which they almost light up Guenever
- In which Launcelot meets the Lady of Shalott
- In which the Lady of Shalott learns Launcelot is wounded
- In which the Lady of Shalott nurses Launcelot back to health
- In which the Lady of Shalott dies for love of Launcelot
- In which I don’t even know
BOOK XIX: The Lady’s Not for Burning
- In which Guenever’s spontaneous party sure has a lot of rules
- In which Launcelot pulls the cart trick
- In which Meliagrance outwits Launcelot
- In which Launcelot and Guenever get crazy reckless
- In which Guenever is almost set on fire, for the second time
- In which Malory impresses us all with a very long list of knights, including continuity errors
Book XX: Things Fall Apart; Everything Tends to Decay
- In which Gawaine is the voice of reason somehow
- In which Guenever is almost lit on fire, third time
- In which Arthur and Launcelot go to war
- In which the Pope (of all people, can you believe it?) arranges a cease-fire
- In which Launcelot makes a speech and starts a civil war
- In which peace talks fail
- In which Launcelot and Gawaine finally have it out
BOOK XXI: Seriously, Arthur Dies at the End
- In which Sir Mordred is our spotlight character
- In which Sir Gawaine dies
- In which Arthur stalls for time
- In which Arthur gets on a boat
- In which Sir Launcelot shows up late
- In which everything wraps up
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