Three chapters, but a short entry, because these chapters are boring. Did you think we were done with the jousting fanfiction? Nope! Chapter 33 is full of it. Let me sum it up for you.

Blah blah Mister 100 smote Carados blah blah Northgalis smote Anguish blah blah Arthur smote Mister 100 with Palomides’s help blah blah Tristram and Arthur joust blah blah Palomides interrupts their joust blah blah Mister 100 gives Palomides a new horse blah blah Tristram learns the hard way you can’t beat King Arthur, his name is on the spine of the book, but everyone still stands around marveling at how great Tristram is regardless.

Chapter 34 is all about Launcelot and Tristram jousting, finally. They meet in the tournament, and Launcelot nearly kills Tristram. Tristram flees. Launcelot shrugs.

In the forest, Sir Dinadan catches up to Tristram. He frets that Tristram is going to die of his wound, but Tristram insists he’s okay. And he turns out to be well enough to handle Sir Palomides, one more time, when Palomides shows up looking for him. Palomides tries to joust him and even with all his health boxes checked off, Tristram still defeats him easily.

Sir Gaheris passes by, on his way somewhere.

“Oi! Gaheris! I bet you want to avenge Palomides!” shouts Tristram.

“What? No. Who are you? What’s this about?” asks Gaheris, and then Tristram dehorses him and smacks him around a bit. Eventually Tristram declares a TKO against Gaheris, and leaves.

He and Dinadan end up lodging with an old man, Sir Darras, who sent his five sons to the tournament. Happy reunion when all five of them survive and return home! Chapter 34 ends with an argument between Arthur and Launcelot about who won the tournament: Arthur says Launcelot, but Launcelot says the prize should be given to Tristram.

This riveting discussion carries over into Chapter 35! In fact it’s basically all of Chapter 35. Arthur admits Tristram deserves special recognition for his awesomeness, listing off a bunch of deeds Tristram committed during the tournament. After going through all the trouble of establishing Tristram as fighting anonymously, Malory totally forgets about that here. Anyway, everyone looks for Tristram, can’t find him or Sir Dinadan. They do find Gaheris, who tells everyone about how Tristram defeated Palomides despite his wounds. Arthur clucks his tongue and mutters about how Palomides shouldn’t have tried to pick a fight with a wounded knight, and it served him right to lose in a humiliating fashion. Then Arthur throws a party! I guess because Malory wanted to end the story of the Castle of Maidens tournament on a high note?